PS NATURE CREATIONS

First, we all enjoy seeing lovely plants, inside and out:

Of course we do!  If you have matured to the point that you don't particularly care what the neighbors think, your true nature is pretty much set.  The Green-to-Brown spectrum is determined by personal priorities.  We gardening-impared mortals have ceded the big stuff to the experts, reserving just a modest niche.

Brown Thumbs need plants that pretty much take care of themselves:

As a 57-year-old Dirty-Brown Thumb, I consider myself an expert at judging plants that can endure my care (or lack of same).  Here are the winners:

Houseplants - choose Philodendrons as a last resort: 

I found this delightful wrought-iron planter and its perfect center pot during my remodelling project 9 years ago.  Peggy and siblings usually visit at Easter each year, so I began by trying to keep my treasure planted with something lovely at Eastertime.  First, I tried violets, then a pretty miniature rose, but the poor things lasted only a few months.  Then I tried grape ivy, twice, but the healthy specimens I planted didn't survive to the next Easter.  Not willing to kill yet another perfectly innocent plant, I asked for advice at the greenhouse.  "Plant Philodenrons", they said.  "If you can't grow them, you may as well give up."   As you see,  my Philodendron is still doing fine some four years later.  Yes, these plants can almost take care of themselves.

Spruce - An evergreen for the Brown Thumb:

My home, Alabama circa 1970, has a brick flower box across the front and twin brick planters at the drive's entry.  I added a cement bed during my remodelling in 1997 to hide some plumbing that jutted out the side of the house.  These beds are raised, shallow, set on concrete and incredibly dry.  Twelve years ago I actually gave up on keeping the front brick bed attractively populated and resorted to using silk imitations of ivy, daffodil and chrysanthemum in season.  My artificial plants were presentable for a couple of years, but the sun eventually faded the silk and turned them into expensive, brittle trash.  The poor planters at the entry, too far away to water, stood empty.

While searching for attractive yet durable replacements for my faded silk display and in need of something to decorate the new plumbing cover, I was advised to try spruce shrubs.  Sure enough, these plants can take care of themselves!  The spruce shrubs you see pictured (the front brick box at left and the plumbing cover above right) have truly survived with just a little rain blown on them every now and then.  And yes, the ones I put in the planters at the entry are still alive and well although I have never watered them. These shrubs are amazingly durable little troupers.

Fichus and Asparagus Fern - Plants that go Indoors or Out: 

For years, Peggy kept a pet Iquana named Deuce that became her valued pet partner and friend.  Peggy carried Deuce with her to flea markets and workshops, where the Iguana entertained many a client while perched atop Peggy's cap.  Duece has twice visited my home here, the first time 9 years ago when he was just a pretty little green lizard that easily perched in the branches of my Fichus tree.  Since then, Deuce has sadly gone to Iguana Heaven, but the Fichus tree is still with me.  I have lost count of the number of times a wind gust or hurricane has blown through leaving the poor thing upended and half full of dirt.  The Fichus gets watered when the dirt is bone dry.  I lug it inside when the temperature drops to 35, and out it goes come spring.  The rest of the time, this plant knows how to take care of itself!

Years ago, I purchased an interesting plant stand that was perfect for a Boston Fern, but despite my best efforts, ammonia water and all, I killed each one that I bought.  Then I discovered the delicate yet hardy asparagus fern.  The first of these plants that I purchased got a little ragged and leggy after 4 years of drying on the patio all summer and wintering in the garage so I decided to replace it the next year with a fresh young specimen.  Lacking the heart to destroy an old soldier, I simply stuffed the old plant, pot and all, down into a pile of branches and yard trash, out of sight.  Two years later, this discard was looking almost as good as its replacement, so I found a second plant stand and both ferns now proudly grace my patio. These plants are survivors!

Give a Ponytail Plant and grow a legacy:

Shortly before Peggy's brother Charlie passed away 4 years ago, I was admiring an impressive Ponytail plant being tended by his widow, PK.  She smiled and told me that her plant, which easily stood 8 feet tall, was 20 years old.  Because of its extraordinary longevity, she considered her plant to be part of her legacy.  As I was leaving to return home, PK presented me with the Ponytail plant you see on the right.  Yes, it is 4 years old.  If I weren't a Brown Thumb, I would have transplanted it a time or two, but the plant doesn't seem to mind having a bulb as big as that original little clay pot.  I water it when the bulb shrivels up, or when the Fichus is dry as a bone.  The Ponytail has the endurance to become a part of anyone's legacy.

Pretty is as Pretty Does:

In judging which plants can take care of themselves, I have found several excellent candidates, including Holly, Wysteria and Forsythia.  The last two of my winners are special because not only are they hardy enough for the Brown Thumb, they also serve a useful purpose.  I understand Pampas Grass can be a pest, particularly in California, but here in Alabama it behaves itself.  My clump has managed to grow in the gravel that lines my drive, where even the weeds cannot take root.  The Butterfly Plant earns its name by attracting many of these welcome insects.  Together, they serve to camouflage the butane tank.

By the way, Peggy planted these two during one of her visits, and that makes them extra special. 

Hypertufa for the Brown Thumb:

The Succulent Garden: