BROWN THUMB WONDERS Update: September, 2010 I just checked our Site Usage reports and discovered 15 people have read this page during the past month. The keywords "Ponytail plant" were quite popular. Perhaps an update is in order. What has, and has not survived my neglect: I continue to be a horribly neglectful plant caretaker, a Brown Thumb, through and through. Since writing this tip 3 years ago, I've come to believe that replacing a pitiful-looking, leggy or otherwise unappealing plant with a fresh new one is the best solution for those of us who prefer, or find it necessary, to spend our time on something other than our plants. Some plants I touted as Brown Thumb Wonders before have since suffered their demise. Here is the good news and the bad: 
 The Philodendron did not survive:
My old Philodendron got replaced last Easter because I was expecting company. Its replacement, a lovely variegated Philodendron, has done quite well to date, as you can see:  My spruce shrubs are still thriving.
Despite our near-drought conditions this summer, I've had to trim back my spruce shrubs. They are true Brown Thumb Wonders.  Both the Fichus and the Asparagus Fern have been replaced:
Some would blanch at my indifference, but the Fichus did not survive prolonged freezing temperatures in my garage, and the Asparagus Fern was looking pathetic, so I replaced both last Easter, without regret. 
 My Ponytail plant is still with me!
Yes - after 7 years of neglect, my legacy plant is alive and (well) hanging in there. Still in its original pot, this amazing plant is bearing with me, waiting for that day when help arrives.  The Sago Palm bit the dust.
Two years ago, I left my Sago Palm outside too long in the cold winter. Recognizing my error, I brought it into the house, but the exposure caused my plant to lose all of its fronds. The following Spring, I planted its ball in a flowerbed and was ever so delighted to see it come back to life!  
Last Winter was one of the coldest in Alabama history and I tempted fate by leaving the poor thing outside. My Phoenix could not be resurrected again so I replaced it with a look-alike. I just took these pictures of Sago Palm Lost and Sago Palm Found. There are new fronds - nearly ready to burst out - on my new friend. Lesson learned: Despite the lovely Sago Palm I saw at the cemetery, its robust presence having truly misled me, I sadly report that a Sago Palm cannot tolerate a week of temperatures in the teens. The Butterfly plant and the Pampas Grass were lost: My dog, Ena, enjoyed lying in the midst of the Pampas Grass on a hot summer's day. I don't know whether it was her habits, or last Winter's cold spell that did in both the Pampas Grass and the Butterfly plant. My butane tank is no longer camouflaged and I miss these guys.   My succulent dish garden is happier than ever!
I can only credit their Hypertufa liner/container for this miracle. The dish garden Peggy gave me nearly 14 years ago is still thriving. All of the pictures in this update were taken today!  The Yellow Jasmine:
I didn't mention this before, perhaps with good reason. Years ago I planted a Yellow Jasmine to obscure my airconditioning unit. I trained its tentacles to climb a Shepherd's Crook and it has been a "sure-'nuff" Brown Thumb Wonder. I don't brag on this for two reasons: 1. All parts of this plant should be considered poisonous. Children can mistake the flowers for honeysuckle! 2. The Jasmine will spread its seed like a dandelion, and I have pulled many a wayward plant to control its propogation. If you don't mind the risks, this plant is a hardy fellow, and mine has served me well. Thank You! Whether you are an expert gardener, or suffer the Brown Thumb as I do, we truly appreciate your visits to our site and hope you will return! With best regards, Your webmaster, Judy
(ORIGINAL) BROWN THUMB WONDERS Memorial Day, 2007 Chances are, since you are spending your free time reading this gardening tip, you are a "Green Thumb". If I am correct, you were blessed by our Maker with an innate sense of what your plants need to grow strong and healthy and you derive great satisfaction from providing for their needs. Nothing could please you more than to adopt some lovely exotic and see it thrive under your care. The rest of your life may get in the way, but gardening is not a chore for you - gardening is true recreation. If you are merely a wanna be Green Thumb or still a novice Brown Thumb (no Classic Brown Thumb would be here - tell me if I'm wrong), this article may help you to celebrate your other strengths and show you ways to green up your world. Peggy (a card-carrying Grass-Green Thumb) once told me; "The only people who are Brown Thumbs are those who don't want to learn how to be Green Thumbs." * Well, we Brown Thumbs prefer not to waste our time misting, transplanting or talking to plants, and we don't need to know about the other things we wouldn't care to be doing. This tip matters to you Green Thumbs because you probably have many friends and relatives who are just like me, Dirty-Brown Thumbs. The Green Thumb in you dearly wants to share your love of the plant life with us, the unenlightened, and the missionary in you hopes to convert us one day. This tip is offered to help you understand what we like and require. First, we all enjoy seeing lovely plants, inside and out: Of course we do! If you have matured to the point that you don't particularly care what the neighbors think, your true nature is pretty much set. The Green-to-Brown spectrum is determined by personal priorities. We gardening-impared mortals have ceded the big stuff to the experts, reserving just a modest niche. Brown Thumbs need plants that pretty much take care of themselves: As a 57-year-old Dirty-Brown Thumb, I consider myself an expert at judging plants that can endure my care (or lack of same). Here are the winners: Houseplants - choose Philodendrons as a last resort:  I found this delightful wrought-iron planter and its perfect center pot during my remodelling project 9 years ago. Peggy and siblings usually visit at Easter each year, so I began by trying to keep my treasure planted with something lovely at Eastertime. First, I tried violets, then a pretty miniature rose, but the poor things lasted only a few months. Then I tried grape ivy, twice, but the healthy specimens I planted didn't survive to the next Easter. Not willing to kill yet another perfectly innocent plant, I asked for advice at the greenhouse. "Plant Philodenrons", they said. "If you can't grow them, you may as well give up." As you see, my Philodendron is still doing fine some four years later. Yes, these plants can almost take care of themselves.
Spruce - An evergreen for the Brown Thumb:
My home, Alabama circa 1970, has a brick flower box across the front and twin brick planters at the drive's entry. I added a cement bed during my remodelling in 1997 to hide some plumbing that jutted out the side of the house. These beds are raised, shallow, set on concrete and incredibly dry. Twelve years ago I actually gave up on keeping the front brick bed attractively populated and resorted to using silk imitations of ivy, daffodil and chrysanthemum in season. My artificial plants were presentable for a couple of years, but the sun eventually faded the silk and turned them into expensive, brittle trash. The poor planters at the entry, too far away to water, stood empty. 
While searching for attractive yet durable replacements for my faded silk display and in need of something to decorate the new plumbing cover, I was advised to try spruce shrubs. Sure enough, these plants can take care of themselves! The spruce shrubs you see pictured (the front brick box at left and the plumbing cover above right) have truly survived with just a little rain blown on them every now and then. And yes, the ones I put in the planters at the entry are still alive and well although I have never watered them. These shrubs are amazingly durable little troupers.
 Fichus and Asparagus Fern - Plants that go Indoors or Out:
For years, Peggy kept a pet Iquana named Deuce that became her valued pet partner and friend. Peggy carried Deuce with her to flea markets and workshops, where the Iguana entertained many a client while perched atop Peggy's cap. Duece has twice visited my home here, the first time 9 years ago when he was just a pretty little green lizard that easily perched in the branches of my Fichus tree. Since then, Deuce has sadly gone to Iguana Heaven, but the Fichus tree is still with me. I have lost count of the number of times a wind gust or hurricane has blown through leaving the poor thing upended and half full of dirt. The Fichus gets watered when the dirt is bone dry. I lug it inside when the temperature drops to 35, and out it goes come spring. The rest of the time, this plant knows how to take care of itself! 
Years ago, I purchased an interesting plant stand that was perfect for a Boston Fern, but despite my best efforts, ammonia water and all, I killed each one that I bought. Then I discovered the delicate yet hardy asparagus fern. The first of these plants that I purchased got a little ragged and leggy after 4 years of drying on the patio all summer and wintering in the garage so I decided to replace it the next year with a fresh young specimen. Lacking the heart to destroy an old soldier, I simply stuffed the old plant, pot and all, down into a pile of branches and yard trash, out of sight. Two years later, this discard was looking almost as good as its replacement, so I found a second plant stand and both ferns now proudly grace my patio. These plants are survivors!
Give a Ponytail Plant and grow a legacy:
Shortly before Peggy's brother Charlie passed away 4 years ago, I was admiring an impressive Ponytail plant being tended by his widow, PK. She smiled and told me that her plant, which easily stood 8 feet tall, was 20 years old. Because of its extraordinary longevity, she considered her plant to be part of her legacy. As I was leaving to return home, PK presented me with the Ponytail plant you see on the right. Yes, it is 4 years old. If I weren't a Brown Thumb, I would have transplanted it a time or two, but the plant doesn't seem to mind having a bulb as big as that original little clay pot. I water it when the bulb shrivels up, or when the Fichus is dry as a bone. The Ponytail has the endurance to become a part of anyone's legacy.
Pretty is as Pretty Does: 
In judging which plants can take care of themselves, I have found several excellent candidates, including Holly, Wysteria and Forsythia. The last two of my winners are special because not only are they hardy enough for the Brown Thumb, they also serve a useful purpose. I understand Pampas Grass can be a pest, particularly in California, but here in Alabama it behaves itself. My clump has managed to grow in the gravel that lines my drive, where even the weeds cannot take root. The Butterfly Plant earns its name by attracting many of these welcome insects. Together, they serve to camouflage the butane tank. By the way, Peggy planted these two during one of her visits, and that makes them extra special. Hypertufa for the Brown Thumb: The Succulent Garden: 
Years ago, about the time that Deuce was perching in my Fichus tree, Peggy gave me a lovely dish garden that she had crafted from Hypertufa. Her garden was filled with tiny succulents, colored rock and miniature garden ornaments. By chance, I decided to display the garden by setting it on the dirt in this galvanized bucket. When I purchased this bucket, it contained a charming arrangement of plants that couldn't survive my care and I had since given up on growing anything else in this interesting but arid container. I was simply amazed when Peggy's garden started to flourish. That fall, with Winter imminent, I picked up my garden to bring it indoors and discovered that its succulent roots had grown through the Hypertufa into the rich dirt below. For many more years, I took up the dish garden at frost time, trimmed the roots, let it winter inside and moved it out in the spring. Last year, when frost was threatening, I was reluctant to bring my garden inside because it had never looked lovelier. I pulled it loose from the bucket, started trimming the abundance of roots, lost my grip and dropped the poor thing on the concrete patio where the dish shattered into several large pieces. Peggy was advertising her Hypertufa hanging wire basket liner at the time (still available) so I sent her an emergency e-mail order for this ideal replacement. Meanwhile, my succulents were perfectly content embedded in their Hypertufa pieces! I transplanted this garden late last year (with Peggy's Texas Hydro Blast soil and some of the original hypertufa chunks) and already my garden is like new again. These are the original plants. I took advantage of this opportunity to separate the pups that had sprouted on the Speckled Aloe (please pardon me if that isn't Speckled Aloe). Believe it or not - the garden lamp still lights!  The Sago Palm: I decided some time ago that I'm onto something here! Hypertufa is the perfect plant liner for the Brown Thumb! I know succulents can be pruned and their cuttings will nearly take root by themselves. But even succulents don't normally survive one season in the care of a Brown Thumb like me! To help me test my theory, Peggy made me a special order Hypertufa Pot at Christmas (also now in inventory) and planted this Sago Palm in it at Easter. The plant is simply thriving. Peggy must grimace to see her beautiful container half buried in the ground, but I am convinced this marvelous material called Hypertufa will give this plant what it needs to survive my neglect. It will be safe and lovely indoors next winter and I shall marvel at this wonder for years to come. So now you have it, Green Thumbs. The perfect gift idea for your Brown Thumb friends and family: Hypertufa - Check it out! ps: You may wonder why a Dirty-Brown Thumb like me is writing this. I am proud to wear the title of Peggy's Bookkeeper/WebMaster/Stepmother/Friend. * I've gotten into the habit of editing Peggy's originals. In one of her breezy e-mails, Peggy actually said "The only people that are Brown Thumbs are those that don't want to learn how to be Green Thumbs...(Knowledge is Power)". You Green Thumbs probably prefer the original. 
Happy Gardening from Judy! Peggy will be back next week!
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